Social Media + Business = Tupperware Party

Posted on February 16, 2009 by Whitney 6 Comments

I just read an interesting post over at Chris Brogan’s site about the Tricky Path of Brand Relationships.  And while commenting, it hit me like a ton of bricks- Social Media is A Tupperware Party.

In the “mommy world”, women are often invited to “parties” where the main purpose of the event is some sort of sales pitch.  This could be one of at least fifty different women-sales-from-home oriented businesses, including Tupperware, Mary Kay, Avon, Southern Living at Home, Pampered Chef, PartyLite Candles,  Discovery Toys, a couple of jewelry parties and the like.  (You could also add Girl Scout Cookies, school sales for magazines, wrapping paper and candy, and Scholastic Books to this list without much problem).

The main thrust of these events is Woman A is a sales rep for the Company.  Her friend, B, is asked to hold a “party” for her.  In return, B gets a hostess gift and a credit towards purchases of her own, based on what the people who attend the party buy.  Woman B is then obligated to throw a little get-together, imposing on her friends and her friend’s friends to attend said event some evening or weekend.  Everyone knows that it’s a great time to get together and see friends, but it’s also pretty clear that you are obligated to buy “something”.  There’s often a few door prizes or little give aways with the pitch and “demonstrations” of how wonderful  each of these products are.

Now, I will say up front, that I have been to many of these events for friends.  And I’ve bought a lot of stuff, too.  I still have and really love most of my tupperware; my favorite serving pieces are from Pampered Chef, and my favorite wine glasses are from Southern Living at Home.   I have only once ever hosted one of these parties, and I just could never be a “consultant” myself, because I just couldn’t bear constantly imposing on my friendships with everyone I knew to host parties for me.

As happy as I am with most of the stuff I’ve bought on the whole, there’s that sense of obligation to buy that always bothers me.  The hostess often seems to invite people by saying “Hey, come on over- I am trying to help out Woman A, but I just really want to see everyone and it will be fun.”  All of us who are invited desperately try to figure out if we have a polite excuse to avoid the party, yet want to go and get together with our friends at the same time, putting us into a social bind that ends up with- “Fine, I’ll go, but I am not spending more than X this time, I swear.”

I always end up finding something I do like or think I can use.  Some of the stuff has been really fantastic.  The tupperware mixing bowls and kid cups I got have lasted us for years- they are terrific, and I would not be able to get them anywhere else.  The Pampered Chef square bowls and dishes get constant use, and my husband, who usually rolls his eyes at whatever stuff I bring home from these events actually counts those as among his favorites.  So this sense of obligation and social has led to a lasting good feeling from those particular events.  But I will be honest-note to all my friends- Please do not ever invite me to a candle party again- I will not buy and I just won’t come, kthanxbai.

This applies to social media in the same way.  We have friends who are approaches by Brands to do something with their product and pitch it to us.  Or, we work for a company that wants its brand out before our friends.  Our friends care only if the brand/product/service is relevant to them.  They will only buy if they need to.  And if we try to pitch too frequently, or impose on the friendship too much by asking for spread/retweet/blog posts/word of mouth, our friends will stop helping us out, and start avoiding us as a result.

How do we avoid this?  One response is to get lots and lots of friends, that way, you aren’t imposing on the same group of people all the time.

One response is to pitch less frequently, so you aren’t asking your social media neighbors to hold a tupperware party for you every week.

And every once in a while, we get a product in that everyone wants, and it doesn’t matter if you pitch, because the relevance and delight is high enough, the demand is high enough, no one cares.  The product is then selling itself, and you are no longer “pitching”- you are just a distributor.

Where do you fit on this progression?  Are you the “Sales Associate” for the affiliate marketing program for a Company?  Are you the Party Hostess?  Is the product relevant to your audience or is it an imposition?

Is this a good analogy?  What do you think?

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  • http://www.catfishshow.com Cat

    Hey Whit!

    I totally loved your thinking on this post!

    Of course your analogy of a party was great – you said what people are pretty much feeling when they are invited to these parties!

    As a consultant for Pampered Chef – there is one element missing – you don’t take into account that after the first initial parties, consultants move on to other people they don’t know – not part of the same circle of friends. So the friends are not asked to host parties every week – or even every year!

    I like this business model – since there is not pressure on the friends of the consultant – but this only works if the consultant is able to get out of that initial circle!

    Social Media does not have another circle – mostly everyone knows everyone and it does not take long for the message (product being sold) to be repeated to the same people over and over again – which can totally backfire on the intent!

    Just my little 2 cents!!

    Cat

  • katherine

    The analogy works up to a point, I think — at least with a Tupperware party, you know up front the intention is that you’ll go, the host will be trying to sell stuff, and will have a certain obligation to buy *something*. And you’ll be keenly aware that if you hit your friends up to come, you’d best not hit them up too often (but that’s just being respectful of the relationship).

    The problem I have in the Social Media space is that the definition of “friend” is sometimes too broad (tho’ that’s a problem I have with North American culture in general), and the obligation isn’t always obvious at first. Or sometimes people come in with the facade of being a “friend”, but soon reveal themselves to be just using the tools/space to sell something.

    I have a group of friends out here where I live in the Middle of Nowhere. Most of them have their own businesses or jobs based on skills that they have. If I need a candle, I go to the friend who makes them herself. If I need yarn, I start with the friend who has a shop. Neither makes me feel obligated to buy from her, and if they don’t have what I want and can’t get it, they aren’t upset if I try further afield. But we are friends first, and we don’t spend a lot of time chatting up our businesses when we get together for coffee.

    Of course, they might be the first folks I recommend if someone asks me if I know someone who makes great candles or has a good yarn shop, but that’s only because I like them and their products and how they do business.

    Cat makes a good point — the SM circle isn’t very large, and sometimes it does feel like one is being batted over the head with the “message” being tweeted just a bit too often. I guess the question becomes, do you feel obligated to buy what they’re selling (even metaphorically, I suppose)? If so, then the Tupperware Party model certainly applies. Do they take care to respect the relationship and not impose too often? Then they probably put the relationships first, and that I can respect, even if I can’t “buy in” all the time.

  • http://www.ldpodcast.com Whitney

    I agree with you both- it’s a model that can work, but only a limited amount of times before the bonds of the alleged friendship break. There are always those unspoken relationship rules in friendships or more- what’s an imposition? What’s asking too much? If you don’t say yes at the first invitation, is it in your court to make the next invitation, or is how you decline important? (I’d love to but I can’t, please ring me next time!) If someone invites your kid over to play, when do you have to reciprocate? When do you “owe” someone?
    This is what I love about the Margaret Atwood book on debt called Payback- while it gets esoteric in parts, the concept of indebtedness, money and beyond-about social obligations and moral indebtedness- I find this stuff fascinating, especially as we are all exploring this world where the sense of real world obligation and casual friendships/acquaintanceships collide.
    You both are people I know in the real world as well as in the “box” as my husband calls it, so our relationship clearly has more “cash in the till” so to speak- we are trading with actual real world value rather than virtual. But what about other relationships? And how do we know without really keeping score? How do you protect yourself from getting hurt?
    Again- a really fascinating sociology PhD thesis could be done on this topic alone.

  • katherine

    I think that moral or social obligations are easier to deal with in the real world not only because they come from without (from other members of the group/culture), but they also come from within. I live in a small community. If I run around abusing relationships, then the payback is assured, probably in the form of isolation — people might be polite to me, but they really won’t want to include me in anything. Knowing that, I act accordingly, and the wheels of community run smoothly.

    The difficulty online is not *really* knowing someone. Then the New Yorker cartoon applies: “on the internet, no one knows you’re a dog.” Because people can appear and disappear, or can take on a mask to make them appear as friends or willing to be part of a community, I think we have to be more careful in our dealings with people, and I think we have to keep score at least initially — watch what people do, watch what they say, see if we can connect the dots online to see if their behaviour is consistent. That sort of runs counter to the view that everyone in the social media space is friendly, open, willing to help — we need to assume that many people are, but be aware that some are going to abuse the relationship (just as some will in “real” life — tho’ payback is easier to run from on the internet :-) )

    And I think that sometimes, we’re going to get hurt. Just like we do in “real” life. On some level, that’s part of the human experience, whether online or offline.

    You’re right — this is interesting stuff.

  • http://www.twitter.com/buckylilwing Jaclyn Elgeness

    Great article! I came upon it while doing research on whether or not Tupperware has begun any social media campaigns. As far as I can tell, they really haven’t.

    As great as their brand and products are, they have certainly not taken advantage of online marketing, which, as you smartly pointed out, is already so similar in its model to its existing marketing channels. I can’t really understand how a company as large at Tupperware can virtually ignore social media. Very clever article, again!

  • http://www.ldpodcast.com Whitney

    Hi Jaclyn- Thanks for stopping by! I know- Tupperware and some of these other “mom to mom” programs are just ripe for social media community development. I am surprised they haven’t come to the table yet- friends of mine like CC Chapman at the Advance Guard would be a great match to develop such a campaign.