I have been a big fan of Malcolm Gladwell’s work ever since reading The Tipping Point several years ago. About a week ago, I bought and started reading “What the Dog Saw and other adventures“, a book that’s largely a collection of his work in The New Yorker. It’s a book that you can basically approach episodically, story by story, but the further I get into it, the harder it’s becoming to put down.
Malcolm is a master story teller, plain and simple. He takes seemingly mundane topics like ketchup or hair dye and turns them into intriguing stories with history, intrigue and a bit of mystery to them. I feel like I’m talking to one of my smartest friends when I read his books, and walk away from each encounter feeling a little smarter and look at the world through slightly different lenses than before.
One of the points Gladwell makes in a story largely about Enron is the difference between a puzzle and a mystery. Puzzles, he says, depend on finding all the pieces to get to the bottom of the matter and arrive at a solution. Mysteries, however, often require more in-depth analysis and experience to put all the information together, including the insight to know what information is irrelevant and merely clouds the issue at hand.
This made me think about the large difference between listening and hearing- we can all access noise and information coming at us, but the real trick is taking this information and being able to hear the deeper messages, the heartbeat- find the thread that leads you to a greater understanding of the whole. For example, when someone tells you a story, you can take it on face value, or you can look at it as a clue that reveals a bit about how the person thinks, acts, and reacts in different situations. Each story we tell reveals a little bit more about how we perceive the world, and as we get older, our ability to use our collection of facts and stories to help people better understand us, and to help them better understand themselves increases.
Malcolm was one of the New Kings of NonFiction Ira Glass spoke to along with Susan Olean and Chuck Klosterman on a CD called An Evening with Ira Glass and the New Kings of NonFiction. (This is truly an amazing piece of audio, and well worth the $10 price.) I was struck by Malcolm’s discussion of how he works, how he would interview someone, and how you can see this in his work in What The Dog Saw. Malcolm takes the information he gathers and weaves it in to a narrative that contains a greater context, making every story bigger than the sum of its parts. That’s his particular genius- placing a context around disparate facts and constructing a case or point of view than makes you think.
Here’s a brief video of him on WNYC discussing plagiarism, and I think you’ll see a bit of what I mean here- Malcolm is not a surface thinker, but likes to place things into a larger framework of what’s really important:
When I read Gladwell’s stories, I’m endlessly inspired to listen a bit differently, to hear with a new set of ears, and to look carefully for those threads of deeper meaning that let me take the surface information, and work the clues and insights into something new. Like he says in the video above, musicians are very generous with identifying their influences and what inspires them, authors not always as much. I can say that what I take away from each of these stories as I read them are small insights that when applied to my projects, will hopefully make them shine a bit brighter, by understanding the interconnectedness of it all.
Contest and a Prize
After a recent recommendation by my friend, Chris Brogan, Miriam from Little Brown Publishing offered to send me a Malcolm Gladwell prize pack to give away on the site, and I could not be any more happy to do it. The prize is a set of Malcolm’s books- The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, and What the Dog Saw, a wonderful set of books I think everyone should own, in part, because I do already.
Between now and December 7th, 2009, leave a comment here, or link back to this post on Twitter or from your own site, and tell me one thing you’ve learned this past year that’s changed the way you think about something. Sharing ideas and insights is what Malcolm does best, and I think this is a great way to share with each other in this spirit. On December 7th, I’ll put all the names in a hat and draw a winner, and we’ll send you out this gift pack of great books, just in time for the holidays.
And I’ll keep you posted as I work my way through this great collection of essays about the ideas that are changing the way I think as well.
Tom Friedman has talked about how the World is Flat and the boundaries that have long separated people are evaporating as we can communicate and do work 24 x 7 with the advent of broadband and web communication. Hospitals send radiology reports to be interpreted overnight to India. I do work with many people located around the Country; Google Analytics tells me people around the world read my blog and listen to my podcast; my social group extends beyond my town, my State and my Country.
As the borders and boundaries that separate people from one another dissolve, information flows freely. Ideas flow freely. Some take root and catch on, others don’t. Information and education has fundamentally changed the way people see their situation, their company, their government, and more. We can’t hide injustice and tragedy, because everyone can upload the raw data and information to the web, to let others interpret and decide for themselves.
Yet as much as this sharing, the lack of borders, the lack of walls lets us know more than ever before, the question then becomes, “Now What?”
-So you see devastation on the other side of the planet-the aftermath of natural disasters, poverty and more- what are YOU going to do about it?
-You see that government or healthcare could be more efficient and it seems silly that it’s grown up in such a convoluted manner- what are YOU going to do about it?
All the information and data you could possibly want is pretty much out there and just waiting for you to take a hold of something, anything, and make one little part of the world better. What are YOU going to do? Because guess what? It’s not just someone else’s problem- it’s all of ours.
It’s easy to sit on the sidelines and complain about the troubles of the day, to bemoan the fact that our government isn’t perfect, and those other people across the Globe aren’t perfect, either. There may not be any one right answer. There’s not one right way to approach a problem, but that doesn’t give us a pass for doing nothing in the interim.
In Made to Stick, Chip and Dan Heath talk about the problem of third world hunger and soliciting money to help a charity address the problem got much better results when the problem wasn’t discussed in broad strokes, but was personalized, so that a person could help one other person, one child, and make their life better. This is because when we look at the whole problem-”the whole forest”- it can be overwhelming, and the problem seems truly impossible to tackle and see any progress. But when we look at a tiny problem -an individual tree- the problem becomes much easier to tackle. We say “I can do that” and we pick up a shovel or our checkbook, or whatever and get to work.
I often joke “Talk is cheap until you starting talking to a lawyer.” While great things always start with talking, with sharing ideas like we do on the Web, the real change comes from putting verbs into our sentences and actually doing things to make change happen. It means getting our hands dirty. It means just picking a spot and dig in. Every small step takes you closer to your goal. Failing to take any action leaves the project and change undone, left for someone else to do instead of you.
It can be tricky where the rubber meets the road. There’s all sorts of friction, all sorts of problems, nothing is easy. But without action, without that friction, you’ll never make any progress at all- all you’ll do is spin your tires, hoping some day, that there will be some “grab” and you can start progressing forward.
Pick something. One thing. Donate an hour of your time. Make one small area of your community better. Or go to Kiva and give someone a microloan so they can create traction for themselves. Do something that’s not all about you. Help someone else with a problem they have. You’ll be surprised at the difference you can make for others, and for yourself at the same time.
Everyone can do something for someone else. It doesn’t have to be big or grandiose. It can be taking the time to help a friend. It can be donating a can to a soup kitchen. But knowing you are making an effort to help beyond yourself- that’s where the real satisfaction in life lies.
If you hate the health care system, don’t just complain- learn why the system is the way it is, what challenges are faced, and think up ways to fix it, or make it better. Can volunteering at the hospital teach you this while you do good for others? Maybe. If you hate the government and politicians, why not run for office yourself? Figure it out- everyone who has that job had to figure out how to get there- you can, too.
Ask for help. Read. But for goodness sake, put verbs in your sentences and become the change you want to see in the World. It sounds trite, but it’s true. It all begins with you.
Chris Brogan had an interesting blog post about Levelling Up, or how to get your business game or life to the next stage, the next challenge, just like in a video game. As I read the post, I realized my comments were enough for a full blog posts, so you may want to read Chris’s post first before reading further.
3 Things I Try To Remember when Life is a Game
1. Accepting Failure as part of success. When we think about life or business as a game, it can help frame your mindset about not taking everything too seriously, and reminding you that making mistakes and getting do-overs are possible. Having kids who sometimes seem afraid to be wrong or to fail despite having plenty of gaming experience, makes me think that I need to emphasize these points to them, so they may become a little braver at stepping out of their own comfort zone and stretch themselves a bit in order to progress, rather than paying it safe all the time. Failure leads to learning, and while the quick and non-catastrophic failures in video games, followed by small and frequent rewards, is exactly what makes them so addicting and rewarding, we need to transfer more of this experimental attitude into our daily lives.
2. Pacing. Not everybody plays a game at the same speed. There are those that try to master it in one day, others who take detailed notes and create guide maps and walk-throughs for others, those that ask for help, seek cheats and short cuts, and those that slowly persevere, doing it their own way, solving each puzzle on their own, no matter how frustrating. Going at your own pace, the one you are comfortable with, is perfectly fine. You don’t have to go or do the same things as everyone else- there are multiple pathways to victory, and each has its own virtues. It can be hard to maintain your own sense of pace when others seem to be doing more, going faster, maybe even reaping rich rewards. But your pace has its own benefits, and if you are constantly comparing yourself to others, it’s easy to lose a sense of where you are going.
For example, I’ve signed up to walk the Philly Half-Marathon. This is a big fitness goal for me, and I have a training schedule I’m trying to stick to, and often walk with a few friends. Their pace can be quicker than mine, but I am confident that by taking my time, worrying about putting one foot in front of the other, working up in distance and then worrying about time, is what feels right to me and will get me to the finish line just as well as people who are worried about time and pace from the very beginning. The focus is different, the path is different, but we’ll each walk that 13.1 miles and get to the end under our own power, despite having taken differently paced journeys to the goal.
3. Cheats and Shortcuts can be helpful- ask for help. My kids frequently want to buy “cheatbooks” or code books, that contain secrets within games they own, to make things easier along the path. I regularly object to these, in part because taking short cuts to finish a game that costs $50 seems like shortening the lifespan of this investment considerably. But sometimes, we all need help. There’s a puzzle we don’t understand; we lack some experience that would shed light on our problems; we’re frustrated and clearly getting in our own way on the path to success.
It can be difficult to ask for help, from friends, families, teachers, mentors- it can make you feel inadequate. We can’t rely on others to rescue us all the time, but when you’re stuck, reaching out for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength and self-insight. When I feel boxed into a corner in my thoughts, often a quick call or email to someone like Chris Penn or CC Chapman can help me put a new spin on my problems, and at least take a look at them from a fresh perspective. Even calling my mom or dad can help tremendously- if it’s a kid issue, they certainly have more experience than I do when it comes to raising teens, and will laugh at me and with me about the crazy stuff we go through.
Knowing when to call for help, and when you are relying on help is often tricky. In school, it was easier to ask for help, and the deadlines and project specifications are often much more precise than in real life. Heck, my kids get rubrics for everything, but I have yet to see a rubric for being the perfect mom, or creating a successful business. Part of this is because no matter how many How To books you read, success is defined internally as much as it is externally. No one else can set your path for success, because what that means is different for everyone.
That’s the biggest obstacle to using game theory in real life, actually. Life does not come with a “You’ve Won!” graphic and a place to enter your initials. The rewards and punishments creep up on you from time to time, they’re not always predictable or evenly spaced. They can be cumulative, from decisions made long ago, by you, or even by your family. Randomness plays a big factor- are you in the right place at the right time? Can you recognize opportunity when it comes knocking? Have you overlooked valuable opportunities because you thought they seemed small and insignificant at the time?
Life is a much more open-ended game, where the journey is as important as the ending. It’s all about how you use your experience and your assets to level up, if you want, or stay at the same level, looking for mastery before racing ahead. For me, while I can envy those getting to their destination before I do, moving at my own pace, at my own comfort level, has had its own benefits. While you can’t forget to challenge yourself to extend your skills and to grow, more important is that you do it when you’re ready and prepared for the challenges ahead, and give it all you got.
What do you think? When do you accelerate or decelerate your pace? How do you get to your goals? What does success look like to you?
A couple of my friends have recently come out with fantastic books- Mitch Joel wrote “Six Pixels of Separation“ and Chris Brogan and and Julien Smith have come out with the New York Times best selling Trust Agents. Both books discuss how people are connecting for business over the web and how these new relationships work, but there’s been some critique that the books aren’t “How To’s” of internet success.
This got me thinking about the whole concept of the How To.
How To permeates every aspect of our lives. As a parent, we have a major role in teaching our children everything from appropriate social behavior to self-care – how to eat politely, how to tie your shoe, how to brush your teeth, how to get good grades- it goes on and on. From the kid’s side, our parents and our teachers are constantly giving us the recipes to follow to learn stuff we’ll hopefully need later on in life.
After being indoctrinated in the How To all of our lives, we seem to want others to provide us with the fool-proof formula to win at whatever decide we want to do. How many books, for example, promise us 5 easy steps to instant fame and fortune? 8 steps to flatter abs? & habits of highly effective people? Somehow, if we can just get the recipe right, everything will be perfect, and we’ll look better, smell better, and have the easy life of a Hollywood star, with all the fame and fortune we can imagine.
I don’t know about you, but I have found the following things to be true:
To get what you really want, and the satisfaction that comes from attaining a goal, hard work is necessary. It’s never handed to you.
The Rules, the How To, the Recipe for success may seem simple, but the devil is always in the details. Take the 10 Commandments. Think how many pages of interpretation and commentary have been written about this simple list of things to do and not to do, at least two thousand years ago. Clearly, it wasn’t that simple.
I love to cook, and I love to knit. In both of these areas, success can depend heavily on following a recipe or pattern. Even in directions that allege to be “foolproof”, I can assure you, I can find a fool (usually me) who will make some sort of mistake executing this simple set of directions. Let’s not even discuss the infamous Beer Cheese soup or the sweater that was about 2 inches too short, shall we?
The Genius is always in the customization anyway. Take a given recipe- adding a touch of your favorite herb, or adding nuts, chocolate chips and raisins into those brownies- and you take the generic “just like the picture” meal from replication of someone else’s idea to your version of the same idea, with unique elements that make it all your own.
Customizations of the prototype to fit your own life, the hacks we all make to get the generic product to fit our needs-this is what takes things from being just “stuff” to being a part of our own creative process and learning. You don’t learn much about painting by doing a Paint by Numbers- you may learn basic technique, but it’s the application of those techniques to your own project where genius lies.
We all want How to’s because they are comfortable, and we hope that if we see behind the veil, we’ll automatically harness someone else’s creativity and hard work, harness their insight, and somehow, leverage that to make ourselves equally as successful. Yet we don’t need more imitations, copies and echos of the original, as much as we all yearn for that one, unique, purely special moment, great idea, or original insight of our own.
I’m currently working on a project that is a How To- but the critical element is to try to let everyone know that in using this book -1) it’s only a guideline, a coaching tool- your own milegage may vary 2)We’ll give you templates that work for us, but you have to customize it towards what you think will be best for you and 3) Never be afraid to try something new, to fail, to try again, and fail better the next time.
We only learn from making mistakes. Some mistakes you only ever need to make once. Let me help you avoid a big one- never put dish detergent in the dishwasher, thinking it’s an ok substitute unless you want to flood your house.
Some mistakes you make more than once. I still insist, for example, I do not need to “swatch for guage” ie. make a small sample before knitting a huge project, hoping that the knitting gods will protect me. I am frequently wrong on this account.
But the biggest lesson is this: even the best how-to’s only provide guidance and suggestions based on one person’s experience and what they have researched about the experience of others, trying to shine a light on frequently encountered difficulties. This is what Parenting books are all about. But only you know yourself and your own unique situation, and applying these ideas to your life will require mass customization to obtain the results you want. Lockstep copying won’t get you the best results, only customization of the recipe will.
I still get suck ed into the promise of the How To, but at least my expectations now are that it is nothing more than advice. I will learn and master things only through trial and error, making better guesses and spurring different ideas based on what the book or expert offers, but I can’t expect that these books and lectures will fix my life- that’s my job, and mine alone.
I’ve spent the weekend reading through Trust Agents, by my friends, Chris Brogan and Julien Smith.
Trust Agents, at its heart, explains how the currency and language of the web is based on trust. Relationships online, for business or social reasons, require that both parties trust each other immensely. You can’t always seal every deal with a handshake over dinner anymore, and whether money changes hands or not, there’s a great deal of social capital invested between people, and they rely on the other party dealing with them fairly.
As an attorney by education and trade, I can look at the relationships people develop online as a social contract. Each party agrees that even in the most basic “friend” relationship on social networks like Twitter or Facebook, that certain rules will be respected. There is often a quid pro quo, where people reciprocate the friendship outreach. Let’s break this down further-
Mary decides to join Twitter. She goes out and “follow” a bunch of people, hoping these people will reciprocate. This “following” is like an offer of friendship or relationship, which may prove to be valuable, or it may be a burden, but just like any offer to purchase goods or interact with someone, no one has to reciprocate- it’s an offer, that’s all. If Jim reciprocates, a relationship, however tentative, has been formed. The offer has been accepted. This is the basis of a basic contract, with the “consideration” that binds the contract measured in willing to spend your attention and information with Mary. Now, if Mary decides the ongoing trading of information and links through tweets needs to take a turn towards a constant barrage of what might be considered “spam”, she may violate this social contract, causing Jim to simply rescind the conract and unfollow her. Jim’s opted out of Mary’s friendship, breaking their contract to connect and exchange the currency of ideas.
This social contract is the basis of online relationships. Basic friendship relationships on social networks have led to many real world opportunities for me, ranging from personal tours of Barcelona, to speaking engagements, to meeting Richard Simmons and beyond. There is a real store of value being built up in these social relationships that can be leveraged and translated into actual dollars and cents, and this is a large part of what Julien and Chris discuss in Trust Agents.
The point of being a Trust Agent is, of course, not to take advantage of all your friends and seeing them as walking wallets and opportunities. Being a Trust Agent requires that you have built a network of relationships, just like the guy with a great rolodex, long before you actually need it. As Chris Penn says, you need to bring the awesome all the time, and the the relationship currency will follow. Then, when someone is looking for a consultant, someone to hire, a speaker- you will automatically be the first person on the list, or at least on the list of people to consider, where those who do not help others and deliver value will long be forgotten.
This is a bit of a blue ocean, bread on the water strategy. It requires you to save -delivering value and building relationships, long before you get to spend- getting hired, or even asking some one to do a favor for you. The more value you have stored in these relationships, the “closer” your relationships, the more durable that bond is, just like any real world relationship.
If you want to better understand the concept of how relationships work online, and how you can become a Trust Agent yourself, run out and get a copy of Trust Agents. It’s going to be a classic guide to help people negotiate this world of online relationships, while helping you to understand the culture, and how you can leverage these relationships for success, just like Chris and Julien have done so well.
