One of my favorite quotes ever is from a book by Richard Bach called Illusions- “Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.”

In my travels, the people I consider my really close friends- the people you call when you are down, the people you want to report your finest moments to, the people you know will be there for you and the people you would move heaven and earth to help them, wherever, whenever- have not always lived in my town. But we have a connection, and even when we don’t see each other very often, it’s like picking up with family- it feels natural and like no time has really passed between you, even if it’s been years since you’ve seen each other. I love this feeling- it’s what makes me feel like a member of this extended family/tribe, where I would gladly have any one of these people over to my home, let them drive my car, babysit my kids- whatever level of trust you need, they all have mine.

It’s almost like we connect even before we know we have. You meet someone, and the connection is instant- it’s like you can see that you belong to the same tribe from the instant you speak to each other. These are the people who i can draw energy from, who make each day a little brighter and make me feel renewed after we’ve spoken.

Then there are the acquaintences- the people you know, but don’t really bond with- the people you might want to get to know, but feel there’s some barrier preventing you from making a connection, even if you want one to be there. I never know what to do in these circumstances- the people you want to like but don’t; the ones you can’t seem to get a grip on or understand- they are members of a different tribe, and while you may like them, you’ll never know them as well as you will your own tribe members.

Miraculously, I’ve been coming across more and more of this tribe/friend/friendship lately than ever before- the ones that seem to trasnform your life from ordinary to spectacular. I don’t know if it’s social media, if it’s being more open, or if I have just relaxed a bit more, but I find myself happier than ever before, truly blessed to know some of the most amazing people on the planet.

What’s also interesting is that we’re all on a particular journey, exploring and experimenting with new ways to communicate and stay in touch, as well as build deeper connections that I know aren’t just transient.

This may all sound very silly and new age, but I just wanted to take a moment, to publicly count my blessings, and to thank so many for making my life a rich and enriching experience each and every day. I do know how fortunate and lucky I am to have you all in my life, and thank you for sharing your life with me. I know you know who you are, and that’s way more important than calling people out and playing the linking game. Thank you for being a part of my life. You make each and every day special.

Goal

Originally uploaded by aremac

In sports, the goal is clear. Score points, more than the other guy or team, and savor success.

Goals and success in other parts of life are a whole lot less defined.

We say things like “I want to be happy”. What does happy mean for you? It’s probably different than it is for me or anyone else for that matter. We say “this person/job/meal/experience makes me happy.” But I would argue that happiness is not caused, it’s something that has to come from within.

There’s been a ton of discussion going on on places like Chris Brogan’s Blog about what the numbers mean- analytics, SEO, followers, readers, conversions, sales, etc. But even in the sea of numbers, I think we are losing the bigger point, or goal.

We are often trying to quantify and measure things that are truly hard to measure- engagement is a broad term that encompasses things like trust, faith, willingness to try something based on a recommendation, attention and more. We know that people have feelings and emotions about who and what they interact with through the net, but just because a computer in involved, does not mean their feelings and emotional aftertaste after an interaction are really quantifiable. We’re mixing left and right brained stuff here- art and science, math and humanities, money and family, and more.

There’s a fundamental challenge involved in trying to measure feelings- we want to know, but we never really can.

Do you love one child better than the other?
How much do you love your significant other? Do they love you more or less than their ex? More or less than their parents? Than their children?
What makes chocolate better than vanilla ice cream? Could you be persuaded to change your mind?

You can’t quantify these things. And no matter how hard we try, I don;t think we’ll ever be able to develop a love meter.

In our family, we always say things like “I love you more! “No, I love you more! “I love you to the moon.” I love you to the Sun.” “well, I love you the whole universe. ” I love you the whole universe plus a googleplex” and on and on. yet the real truth is we love each other deeply and truly and the measurement is silly and impossible and in the end it doesn’t matter.

So maybe, we should start thinking about our goals and measurements of success online without always attaching a firm number or measure to it, but perhaps as an amalgam of all the positive things we do, and how much of an impact we have on others, and consider these worthwhile goals, even if not quantifiable in traditional terms.

And I’ll still like you even if you disagree. I’ll like you even more if you comment and tell me why. (Like we can measure this, right??)

Grandma Nina

Originally uploaded by wsh1266

This morning I got a phone call that my grandmother passed away.

She was in her mid 90’s, and had a good long run, that’s for sure. While the end itself came rather quickly and unexpectedly, she had not been in great health for many years. When I saw her this summer, she was actually looking better than she did when this picture was taken.

Grandma Nina was scottish, and bit of the more formal grandmotherly type than the playful kind, and that was fine. Each of the Grandchildren got a special visit alone with her when we were 10- being the oldest grandchild, I got to go first, and I always remember feeling very grown up, taking a plane by myself to go visit her in Florida, which seemed like a very exotic place compared to growing up in Rochester, NY.

Nina was married three times, and her last husband passed away a few years ago. Papa Dick and she had many good years together- they traveled the world and led the kind of retirement I think most people dream of- exotic vacations to China, Australia and beyond, wintering in Florida and spending summers in Connecticut.

When I lived in Gainesville, I used to go down and visit her for the weekend from time to time. One of these times, Papa Dick became ill and we had to take him to the hospital. While in the Emergency Room, Nina turned to me and said “I have got to stop marrying these old men” in a very deadpan, remind-me-not-to-do-this-again sort of way, that I’ll never forget. It was like Mary Poppins all of a sudden going off book. Vaguely shocking and hilarious all at the same time.

Nina lived in Palm Beach in a golfing community where Greg Norman and Jack Nicklaus also lived. I’ll always remember her seeing Greg Norman at the club and remarking he needed a haircut, or Papa Dick almost running Jack Nicklaus over in the Cadillac as he was trying to get his mail. Weird things to remember, but these are the funny, quirky moments that stand out.

My kids knew their great Grandma, but didn’t get to see her very much, as she was definitely in poor health for most of their lives. John remembers spending time with her and was very impressed that she is a true descendant of Mary Queen of Scots and likes to think of himself as a prince of Scotland, however far fetched that is in reality.

Nina was my last living grandparent, and my children’s last living great grandparent. I hope I will be able to see my great grandchildren some day, and be the source of funny stories for them as well. While I’ll be missing the Mary Poppins accent, I’ll be remembering my great grandma, and how special she was.

I just finished watching Barack Obama give his speech and I started crying.   And before I go to bed, exhausted and exhilarated, I thought I’d write  few quick words.

This election has been about the triumph of ideas, hopes, and aspirations over negativity.

It’s been about bringing people together, rather than driving them apart.

It’s been about participation, not apathy.

It’s the triumph of community, communication, and the power we all have when working together.

It’s about building something new.

It’s getting rid of the fear.  It’s getting rid of the paranoia and name calling.

It’s about dreaming of a new tomorrow, and constructing a path to make it so.

It’s about showing our children that the only limits on your success are those you put on yourself.

It’s the success of education, brains, and smarts over ignorance and fear.

I so hope this means our Country has turned a new page.  That racism is closer to being a thing of the past.  That America will be about the power of the “melting pot” and what everyone brings to the table to share, rather than about greed and taking all that you can get or grab.

We all want to succeed, but when all ships rise, we all do better.  And right now, after this election, I believe it can happen.  Each person who did a small bot for the campaign, or even voted for Barack Obama, can own a small piece of this great day and victory, and will be able to tell their grandchildren they saw the day when America became its better self.

Joe Biden Football Hall of Fame Rally

Originally uploaded by Sage Lewis

Today I attended a Obama-Biden campaign rally at the University of Delaware, featuring Joe Biden. I’ve long ago decided I was voting for this ticket, but I attended the rally to hear Joe speak on the campaign trail, and to see how he connected with the audience as well.

I was struck by a number of things- the diversity of the crowd, in particular- young people, old people, union workers from the local auto plant, racial and ethnic diversity, and people just wanting others to get out there and exercise their right to vote.

I recorded the speech, and it’s here at the bottom of the post as an mp3. I was particularly moved by the ability of Joe to inspire people to be their better selves, to help our Country by doing things- helping others, and putting verbs into those sentences.

I cam away feeling that good leadership is not just about pointing everyone in a particular direction- it’s about inspiration. The reason why community organizer is actually a great job pre-requisite for President in that Obama and Joe Biden will have to inspire our national community and the international community to work together to make things better. The devil is always in the details, but people move mountains when inspired. People will go to the ends of the earth for things they believe in. And for one of the first times in my adult life, I feel truly inspired by this election and the possibilities it holds.

Click here to listen to Joe Biden’s speech from the University of Delaware, October 31, 2008