Remembering to say Thank You

Posted on December 23, 2011 by Whitney 1 Comment

December is crazier than usual for me.  In this rapid movement from chore to responsibility to obligation each day, I worry that I’m forgetting the most important thing- to say Thank You to everyone who has made an impact or difference in my life this year. (This post may be a little more self-serving than most, so feel free to skip this one, but it was important to me to write it.)

Saying thank you to people in our lives is important to them and it’s important to you as well.  Making the time and effort to recognize hard work, friendship, and going beyond the call- can easily get overlooked in the list of things we “need” to do while checking off our year-end lists.  Yet these small recognitions and public acknowledgements mean the world to people, and helps encourage us all to do a little more.

Here’s a few public Thank You’s to people who’ve made a huge difference in my life this year:

1. Jenifer Fox, Marjorie McAneny, Tracey Gallagher, and Robin Lloyd- for all the work on The Differentiated Instruction Book of Lists.  We finally got the book out there, and my co-author Jenifer was amazing to work with.  The team at Jossey Bass, starting with our editor, Margie, her assistant, Tracey, and Robin who helped work out all the  details- thank you from the bottom of my heart.

2. Chris Penn, Michelle Wolverton, CC Chapman, Julien Smith, Ron Ploof, Tamsen McMahon, and Amber Naslund- What a great group of friends!  It’s been a big year for everyone, and I think it’s at least in part for the support and push we give each other from time to time.  Thank you so much- you mean the world to me.

3. The Social Media Community in Delaware and Philadelphia-  It’s a big group, but Ken Grant, Nancy & Don Dilbert, Jennie Brand, Maya and Rodney, Laurie and Candace, Gordon and Jessica, Nancy Solero, Felicia and Gov. Markell; Lee Mickles; Gloria Bell, Cecily Kellog, Christine aka Purple Car, Lynette, Paul Muller, Bill Rowland, Steve Lubetkin, Alan Chaess, and so many more- you really make things happen and I couldn’t be more humbled to be associated with such superstars so close to home.

4. Chris Brogan, Rob Hatch and the Human Business Works team- I love working with you.  It’s really become a family over time, and I’m glad I can make small contributions to help things come together when needed.  There’s nothing better than when you can work with people you truly care about, and I’m lucky to have that with you guys.

5. Steve and Diane Brogan- You are two fantastic people, and I’m glad we got to spend time together especially during your visit here and getting to meet victoria Wyeth.  That will always be a special memory.

6. My fantastic husband and two boys- It’s been a really crazy year, between the book, lots of travel all over the country for all of us, and despite what could have been a very stressful time, it ranks up there with on of the best years ever.  I love so very much.

7. Cathy MacDougall, my trainer, for kicking my butt and showing me what hard work is really about, and never letting me quit.  The same goes for Elizabeth Stinson, Christina Gorman, Tish Baldwin, Anne Bolsby,  Karen Buchannan, Janice Reynolds, Tamara Fellows, Kelly Figueroa, Melody Ruth, Lenna Jannick- you girls are the best friends a girl could ever have, and your support and butt-kicking have been so important to me-you’ve been there when I needed someone to talk to or felt insecure, and I treasure you all.

8. To my Mom and my Dad- while you both live in very separate worlds, you are both caring people and great parents- each in your own way- to me.  Thanks, and I love you both.

9. All those folks who help out by being my experts- We all need people in our lives to look up to, and to be our mentors.  I have more than I can count, so I’ll give a more blanket thanks to each of you for teaching me so much and helping me better understand how this crazy world works on all different levels.  Expertise comes in all sizes and shapes, and we all need to rely on others to make things happen for us.  Thank you.

10. To wrap it up- Thanks to everyone who comes by and reads this blog.  A blog is sort of like running your own magazine.  There’s a bit of ego involved, mixed with a legitimate desire to help others and spread the word about great ideas, projects, events and opportunities to make a difference in the lives of others.  I’m always amazed and humbled by the number of people who swing by the blog, and I want to make sure to thank each of you, even in this blanket way, for subscribing, for caring, and for taking the time to read my words.  That’s something to be truly grateful for, every day of the year.

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Do we really want to know the unvarnished truth?

Posted on December 22, 2011 by Whitney Leave a comment

There was an article in the LA Times today about a study underway where patients would get unlimited access to doctor’s notes in their files.  While I am normally a big fan of transparency, there are certain relationships where the information exchanged is expected to be private and sacrosanct.

The concept of “privileged communication” is a legal concept that basically says that certain recognized relationships involve the exchange of confidential communication, and that without some over-riding compelling reason, the communications between these parties is not allowed into evidence in a Court of Law. It basically excludes things said or written between the parties to remain confidential The general list of professions and relationships that generally have a right of privileged communication under State law (and this varies between States) often includes:

  • Accountant -Client
  • Attorney Client
  • Physician- Patient
  • Clergy -parishioner
  • Spousal privilege
  • Reporter’s/Journalist’s privilege
  • Therapeutic (psychologist/Therapist) Privilege
  • Executive Privilege (Governmental)
There are all sorts of rules about where these privileges would apply and not apply, depending on circumstances.  The point being, of course, that we recognize some relationships as having privacy as an inherent part of the trust needed between people.

While there’s an existing Doctor-Patient privilege, this rule causes me to wonder if there’s a Doctor-Doctor privilege as well?  While I’m all for people having information about their health, should a patient be constantly evaluating and arm-chair quarterbacking their own care?  What happens if a Doctor notes in chart for other physicians in the practice to see that he suspects a patient may be in an abusive relationship, have drug-seeking behavior, or suspects a patient may be lying about their habits or alcohol intake for a variety of reasons (including insurance purposes, etc.) and the patient objects to the Doctor’s noting this information?  Is a Doctor liable for accusations of slander for making such remarks to other physicians in a chart?

Moreover, from having chats with doctors I know, there’s a whole bunch of codes in charts such as “FLK” for “funny-looking kid” when a doctor might suspect something could be wrong but isn’t sure; or “2 carbon fragment abuse” as a euphemism for alcoholic; 4F- for fat, forty, female and fair, indicating a pre-disposition for gallbladder disease; CTD for circling the drain and getting close to death,  and the like.  (You can see a whole list of them here-not all are commonly used and many are crude, but look at it as gallows humor). Also check out an alternative lists here and here, and a more informative list of common terms and abbreviations found on charts here.

I know that doctors need to communicate this information between them.  They need to be able to give honest and even, to the public, rude assessments about a patient’s appearance, and that’s not something every patient is going to want to read or hear.  It’s easy to imagine times where a doctor makes remarks about a child’s parents or relatives and whether or not they seem like they can handle a patient outside of the hospital.  This is vital for the support staff to know, but I’m not sure a patient needs to know their doctor thinks their Mom is crazy or unengaged in their care.

I think as we look for more and more transparency between professionals and their clients/patients, we also have to realize that sometimes, not everything needs to be known.  For example, if a Doctor is trying to figure out what’s wrong and is going through a diagnostic tree, and is trying to rule out all sorts of things, I want to make sure that’s documented on the chart.  But afterwards, it can look like the Doctor didn’t automatically know what was wrong (like magic) and instead relied on a pathway to diagnosis that may have led to some dead ends, which may lead to patients making assumptions about malpractice, incompetence and the like that may be very far from the truth.  And certainly, we don’t want every patient using Web MD to second guess their physician with every medication they are given in the hospital, moment by moment.  This sort of transparency may lead to more mistrust than trust, undermining the fundamental reason why people sought professional help in the first place.

In all avenues, we need to let professionals use not only their facts and knowledge, but their experience, intuition and “feelings” about something to get a job done.  Having access to information and data on the web does not give us the experience or the host of background knowledge and experience that makes people good at their jobs.  We can’t boil down every profession into a simple lists of “to do’s” to be mechanically followed without variance, because people are not machines.  We have weird things happen, and we need people to be able to improvise and follow non-logical avenues from time to time, without worry that someone will be up their butt second guessing everything they do afterwards.

I’m finding in this age of too much information, I need to be able to trust certain folks to be professional and do their jobs, and do them well.  I may be as jaded as the next guy, but I hire professionals because of their expertise, not in spite of it.

I can’t be a master of all trades, so I need to trust that some things, like my heath care, will need to be “outsourced” to my physician to monitor, and let me know when I really have to worry, and when I should be kept in the dark to avoid too much worry. For example, when a doctor sends a patient with severe headaches for an MRI, the patient probably doesn’t need to know “It might be a brain tumor, but most likely it’s a migraine, hypertension, or another benign cause” because this is simply too much information and worry, especially if there’s a delay in getting the scan, for something that’s statistically likely to be nothing, but they have to rule out the outlying serious complication.

Let’s start to accept that it’s okay of somethings aren’t known and some things stay private.  It’s really for our own piece of mind.  The hard part of course, is figuring out the parmeters of that “need to know” and I don’t think we’re even close to figuring that out yet.

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Navigating Hurty Feelings

Posted on December 20, 2011 by Whitney Leave a comment

Hurty Feelings, by Helen Lester

Online, it’s amazing how easy it can be to slight someone intentionally or unintentionally, but I think we’re all still getting used to how to navigate these hurt feelings.

One of the kid’s books I enjoyed reading to my kids and gave us a piece of vocabulary that we use until this day, is Helen Lester’s “Hurty Feelings.” The main character is incredibly sensitive and often takes innocent statements by others to heart, making drama out of the smallest things.  I read it to my kids, because one of them in particular, was using the “That hurt my feelings” statement to pretty much manipulate other family members.  ”That hurt my feelings” became a defensive and offensive weapon, so we had to put that in perspective, and this book was great for that.  I had to teach the boys that sometimes, feelings get hurt, and unless it was clearly meant to be mean or nasty, we had to learn to roll with the punches, and also not use “hurty feelings” as a shield from all responsibility for our own actions. In fact, most of the time, people aren’t looking to be mean- they just are oblivious to the fact that you’re senstive on some subjects, and need to know when to back off.  Now, when someone seems to over-react, we now look at each other, and in a small voice, say “Do you have hurty feelings?” And if the other person says yes, then we try to make amends, but the interjection of the humorhelps us put the emotional issues into some perspective.

Hurty Feelings Online

I’m starting to wish I could read this book to some online folks who take lots of things personally, even when they have nothing to do with them, their business, product, or whatever.  We all are subject to feeling slighted from time to time, or left out, because we know so much more about what’s going on.  But we can’t do every job, go to every event, or read every email.  It’s impossible at scale.  I may feel left out sometimes, or not included when I see things other folks are going to, but I have to deal, because I’m not going to be able to be everywhere, all the time and sometimes, I will miss opportunities.  It’s the way life goes.

This post stems from a couple of incidents.  One was hearing from some friends that they had experienced incidents on Facebook that sound like kindergarten disputes- (cue sing song voice here…) “Well, if you are her ‘friend’ on Facebook, I won’t be friends with you, because I don’t like her.”  Really?  This goes on between adults?  That’s downright weird for anyone over the age of about 10.

The second incident was hearing recently that someone was surprised when I unsubscribed to their website/newsletter.  They told a third party they wish I had taken the time to tell them what they could do better rather than just opting out.  I get this.  I wish we all knew why some people read our stuff or did not, why they find us interesting or not.  I also know that unsubscribing from things is probably not so much about you, but mostly about me.

In fact, since Thanksgiving, I’ve been trying to narrow down the “bacn” email: stuff I’ve signed up for, but is tending to clog my files or inbox and something I’m not reading often when it’s sent.     I’m trying to be ruthless, because as of this moment, I technically have 2068 messages in only one of my email boxes, and I am gearing up to do an “Archive all” come the first of the year and start fresh.  I am drowning in interesting information- but unless I take the time to turn that information into action- transform it into knowledge or wisdom- it’s simply being wasted on me.  As a result, I’m doing the email equivalent of unfollowing folks.  For the record, I’ve yet to be a big unfollower on sites like Facebook and Twitter unless all I get is DM spam from your account.

From my perspective, I’m trying to improve my focus.  I’m trying to limit the inbox distractions.  And while I could politely just dump your email into a “delete all later” box, it seems a little more direct and honest to opt out.  It’s certainly my loss not to hear from you regularly, but after I narrow down everything to a manageable scale, I might be back.  Right now, I need to minimize things.

Moreover,  if I’m not one of your regular customers, should it really matter if I opt out?

Seth Godin wrote earlier this month about how scarce attention is, and how that’s our most important asset.   I may have decided to spend less attention on your stuff, but it really is my loss, I promise.

But the other thing to consider in this equation is that not everyone out there is necessarily your audience.  I may be an occasional part of your audience, but maybe not all the time.  And I certainly know from my stats that not everyone I know comes by and reads my blog, and I’m really okay with that.  I hope people care about what I write here, but not everyone will care all the time, and I’m good with that.

If you’re seriously concerned about people unsubscribing from your email, newsletters, or de-friending you on various networks, (and its more than one person…) only then might you start to think about how you are using your communication channels.  Maybe you only need to speak to people once a week.  Maybe you can segment your list and send stuff to folks who want to hear from you at different frequencies- some may be once a week people- others, once a quarter.   Perhaps an RSS feed into a reader is better for them than email.  Maybe they just like hearing from you on Facebook.  Investigating how often your audience wants to hear from you is probably a good thing, and gives you more insight into how to make your communications more effective.  You never know until you ask.

Similarly, like I have been telling my students, you need to think like a publisher.  How much of the content you put out would you independently go out of your way to read?  Why?  What are your communicating, and what do you want people to do with this information?  Heck, my friend Chris Brogan is so overwhelmed by incoming content that I make sure I only send him email when it’s necessary and I keep it as short and sweet as possible, with specific information that needs to be communicated or acted on.  He’s trained me to communicate like this with him, and as a result, I’m almost always certain he’s reading and replying to what I send.

Personally, I know that I have to be more careful with my time and attention than ever.  I’m having to make hard choices and I don’t have all the hours in the day I wish I did. (I keep looking for an effective way to create an extra 2 hours a day, but unless I develop a time machine, that’s not likely.)

To quote every high school movie out there, it’s not you- it’s me.  And likewise, I don’t think you should necessarily tweek or change what you’re doing just because I suck at handling my incoming mail.  If more than a few people are unsubscribing and you’re concerned, please, call me, and we’ll set up an appointment and I’m more than willing to help you and your business.  But don’t take one person’s opt in or opt out of your email as a sign that there’s something wrong, or they should have taken the time to give you thoughtful, constructive criticism.  That’s putting an awful lot of import on only one data point, and probably not one of large significance in the overall picture of life.

In the end, I think we all have to develop a slightly thicker skin to these minor online dramas and “hurty feelings” based on someone else’s actions.  It certainly gives a lot of your own power away when you are vulnerable to these minor slights.  And it seems especially silly when the action- friending a third party, unfriending someone, unsubscribing to a podcast or blog- anything-  almost certainly weren’t taken with a thought of you or your feelings in mind.  More than likely, it happened for a totally different reason, and to let yourself be concerned about this wastes your time and emotional effort you should invest in becoming more awesome to begin with.

I hope in the new year, we’ll all spend less time worrying about “hurty feelings” and more time addressing any problems directly to the person, ask questions, and see if there’s anything to be resolved.  We should also let a lot of the little stuff go, because it will just overwhelm you otherwise.  Look at trends, not data points, and then consider whether you need to change anything.

In the meantime, I do sincerely apologize if I’ve hurt your feelings in one way or another over the past year, but honestly- I never intended to, and it’s just my inability to cope, likely nothing about your personally.    I will try to get better, but I’m drowning in information and I’m searching for a life preserver.

Hurty feelings Video

Here’s a Youtube reading of the book, read by kids (the audio isn’t great, but it will at least give you a sense of the book, if you are so inclined.)

 

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Branding Your Business with Social Media: Weeks Two and Three

Posted on December 14, 2011 by Whitney Leave a comment

We’ve been having some really fantastic classes on Branding Your Business with Social Media in Kennett Square and in Wilmington, DE at Film Brothers.

I’ve combined the handouts for weeks Two and Three into one PDF, you can download by clicking here: Branding Your Business Week Two and Three.

I combined the handouts because much of the material concentrates on making sure your website is working for you. Your online presence is a “threshold experience” like walking into a store for the first time. The design, navigation, information and calls to action are all extremely important when it comes to taking people directed there by any social media site or offline interaction and converting them into customers.

So long before we add “social media sauce” to your marketing mix to help increase traffic to your business and website, we really need to make sure that website allows people to do business with you as simply as possible. We suggest a couple of simple tests to look at your website with a new eye, and check for things that might cause problems for your customers, and we have a few tasks to make sure your business is easier to find through search.

We then suggest you make sure you have a good analytics package on your site, so you can begin to look at what affect your social media efforts may have in increasing your business traffic, and let you know what you may want to adjust over time, if things aren’t getting the attention you want them to have.

We’ll then talk a little bit about Google’s Zero Moment of Truth, (you can download their great e-book on their website, or by clicking this link) and how you need to start thinking about how to reach your customers during their research process, and help make sure you are one of the options they consider when looking for a product of service in your industry.

I’ve also included a few great blog posts covering topics ranging from “Link Bait” to The Best Small and Medium Business Metrics to “How Much Time Should I Spend on Social media?” from a variety of great websites around the web (all credited and linked to the source).

Please let us know if these handouts are helpful, and I look forward to seeing you in class!

 

 

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Feedback Loops

Posted on December 12, 2011 by Whitney Leave a comment

Douglas Adams is one of my favorite writers, but he’s probably under-appreciated for his brilliance as a technology enthusiast and futurist.  He’s got a great series called Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Future, which you can listen to in the BBC Archives, in which he discusses the general power of feedback loops to generate change in a system of any sort.  Listening to this, I began thinking about how feedback loops are vitally important to all decision making.  The unappreciated issue in making decisions is the distance (or time) between action and reaction that drives a lot of the disruption in business and education we see around us.

Business Feedback Loops

Before the internet, we had to wait a lot longer between taking an action and seeing a result.  You launch a product, and in the next quarter, half year, or longer, you might finally have enough data to begin to see whether the product was a success or not.  If you get mediocre results,  you might start to consider tweeking the product, but the time between “trial”and “error” or getting an improvement out to the existing customers has been so long, it hardly seemed to matter much.

Now with the internet, you can begin to get almost instantaneous feedback from customers, and go to work almost immediately on your next iteration, if needed.  This can be a blessing and a curse, of course.  You may save money by not having to commit to thousands of units if your item has problems and you find out early, but the pros and cons of your 1st bite at the apple will also haunt you by the spread of reviews, comments, blogs and the rest around the internet.  This would be why limited beta testing and early focus groups are even more valuable to help you sort out details long before official launch.

Keep in mind, early reaction can be misleading.  Think about all those tech folks who said “Who cares about the iPad?  It’s just a big iPod touch- who needs one of those?” Those tech insiders and geeks had to eat their words when they figured out they weren’t the only audience for the thing.  Making choices and reacting too early to the early adopter crowd might lead you to making a big mistake- so it’s important to know which audiences you are speaking to and how important and relevant their feedback is to your overall vision and business.

Implementing Helpful Feedback Loops

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